07.25.20



third side





A specialized trait---a learned skill---is the ability to look at things from more than just ONE perspective, as is the nature of most people. What often is the root cause of conflict is miscommunication. What often is the root cause of miscommunication is lack of perspective---not seeing things from another person's point-of-view. Sometimes, that lack of perception is by CHOICE: a person may choose not to look at it from the other person's perspective, sticking to only ONE side of the conversation, thus igniting the flames that burn into an argument, thus setting ablaze a full-blown conflict. Entire countries have begun wars this way.





The limitation of having only one point-of-view (one side) is a person can only interpret things one way and have a narrow field of view and breadth of knowledge, as a result. If two or more parties are involved, therein lies the compound effect of multiple points-of-view---multiple sides. We see this often in governments (parliament, senate, representatives, jurors, etc.) where a final decision-maker (deliberator) is brought in to make judgment, hence the term "third party."





A judge is a good example of someone who is charged with seeing things from a third perspective---a third side. A parent, too, can be placed in such a role. What elevates someone to such a position? Is it title, alone, or is there knowledge and experience behind it all? Does the person have a choice in the matter?





Being on the third side allows for a deeper understanding and a unique perspective, often, the other parties are unaware even exists. We see professors in such a role, gifted with the ability to see the end result (e.g. end of the textbook, teacher's edition) and guiding students toward a specific path they, themselves, are incapable of seeing. This is the very CORE of being on the third side and having a third side mentality and perspective on all things. This does not necessitate being involved in a matter whatsoever. At times, being on the third side does not require any action---just observation and personal knowledge (or entertainment).





Visually, most people would see a simple triangle, square, and circle---basic geometric shapes recognized in nearly everything we see around us. Most people are perfectly content looking at things in such a way and not bothering wasting the time or energy looking---perceiving---beyond what may be obvious. There is a simplicity in this choice, and there is a laziness and ignorance as well.





A matter of third side perspective, however, allows for movement around the obvious of what is already there and positioning oneself to see MORE---by choice. The curious learner or wisdom seeker chooses to move around the obvious to seek greater understanding and to see what may have been hidden behind the obvious all along.





Now, the third side seeker has discovered a new element to add to the equation and has more evidence---another otherwise hidden piece to the puzzle that others cannot see and, thus, lack the ability to make use of. This gives the third side seeker a distinct advantage---not because he/she is smarter than the others but because he/she chose to make the effort in the first place. The third side is more than just intelligence or skill, it is also EFFORT. Without effort, there can be no attainment of further knowledge and no advancement, as a result.





The third side seeker may choose to look at ALL perspectives (within reason or limitation) and come to an understanding or judgment once all observable facts (or data) are in. This is where logic (if-then), cause-effect, commonality, differential analysis, measurement, and even testing comes into play, depending on the situation.





There are two elements to the third side that warrant avoidance, however, for they are tempting without constant focus: 1) not seeing the "whole picture" by seeing only a limited scope of evidence (or paying attention to only part of a group, thus learning only part of the story..





..and 2) choosing to ONLY see it from his/her own perspective and no one/nothing else's, losing sight of the entire purpose behind being on the third side AND adding only one more layer to the complexity of the situation (or complex variable) and not bringing a sense of outside-the-box perspective, not being able to come to an unbiased judgment, and not being able to come to a unique conclusion.


To lose the potential knowledge, advantage and perspective gained by attaining the third side is a squandering---a waste---and can only limit instead of enhance.





These men above can see things from a different perspective than you. Does this mean they are more intelligent or more advanced than you, or does this simply mean they chose to place themselves in a unique position to see things differently than you?